Being Autistic Does Not Make You Less

I want to talk about having an autistic child for a second. Now keep in mind I am no expert on the subject, I’ve only had an autistic child for 3 years officially. But I do know some things just by talking to my son.

Now let me be honest, at first I was naive, plain stupid when it came to autism. In fact I thought it was just another excuse to allow kids to act up or get out of pocket sometimes. But I have learned, it’s a real thing.

So after talking to my own high functioning autistic child these are a few things I’ve learned.

• Don’t think of them as anything less than perfect. -my son hates it when people assume he can’t do something just because he’s autistic. He can do anything anyone else can do, he just needs some assistance and patience.
• Don’t introduce them as being autistic, just introduce them as your son or daughter or whatever they are to you. -Again my son has mentioned this a time or two. When my husband and I just got together and it was that time for me to meet the kids, my husband introduced his son, now my son, to me by stating his name and telling me he’s autistic. My son hated this, you could tell by his facial expression, but also because he told me about a year later.
• And last one for the major ones. Do not treat autistic kids any different than you do a non autistic child. —my son mentioned early on that he hates being in the “special” classes because he gets treated differently and when asked how, he said people treat him like he’s stupid. And my son is definitely not stupid.

Now a little back story. My husband and I have been married for three years now and when we got married I knew it came with T (for privacy purposes, my children’s names will not be mentioned). T at the time was 13. He had no at home training so I knew I had my work cut out for me.

When I said “at home training” I meant he knew absolutely nothing about taking care of himself. Long story short, he lived with his mother for the three years after the divorce and before that his mom was responsible for taking care of everything like taking him to speech therapy and doctor appointments, because my husband worked, she was a stay at home mom, but she wasn’t. She was one of those people who treated him like he was stupid she assumed he couldn’t, so she never took the time to teach him anything.

So when he came to live with me in this new apartment and new school and new everything, it was hard. If you know anything about autism you know they don’t like change. And T most definitely does not like change. But living in my house change is what you will get. First up…laundry, I believe if you are old enough to learn how to, you will and you will be responsible for your own laundry. So I taught him.

Overall I taught T to cook, clean-himself and the house, and how to do his own laundry. He has chores everyday and responsibilities every week. He doesn’t like it, but he wanted to be treated like a non-autistic kid, so that’s what he’s getting.

I told him one day when he asked why, I told him it’s so he will know how when it comes time to get his own place. This never crossed his mind. Again when you are told you will amount to nothing, you never think even the most normal things in life can be yours. He got excited and started working harder to get it down and right. Because one day he wants his own place and one day he wants his own job and maybe even a girlfriend. You just have to prepare them for it.

So going forward, if you have or know someone who is autistic please treat them as you would any non autistic person. It makes a difference for them!

For more information, check out Autism speaks for resources and help with learning more about autism.