Mom Guilt

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of ladies talk about mom guilt and some have asked me if I’ve ever experienced it. And here’s the truth, yes I have experienced mom guilt.

But first, what is mom guilt?

Mom guilt is feeling guilty for doing something or not doing something when it comes to your children. For example, being a working mom, leaving your child every day in the care of someone else while you work. Or not working and being home with your baby but feeling like he’s not getting the educational aspect or social interactions he’d be getting if he was at daycare.

I’ve felt both!

Every day while I worked, I worried about him being in the care of a stranger. I worried if he was getting the care I felt he deserved. Which for the most part he was not. Since he wasn’t a crier, he didn’t get the attention he would have gotten if he did cry for everything. Therefore, I felt like I was failing my child. Every day! It was a struggle like I’ve never experienced. Which in turn had a direct effect on my job.

Which ultimately led me to leave my career and stay home. Which leads to a whole new set of guilts and worries. Biggest one of all, I worried if he is getting enough brain stimulation, I limit the amount of tv and besides the two hours of tv he gets no electronics. And he loves books! But I still feel guilty because I fear he’s behind in talking and knowledge for his age. Even if the doctor tells me everything is okay. I still worry.

I worry that I made a mistake by taking him out of daycare. I’ve had no luck with finding a mommy and me group to join so he could make some friends. And when we went to the Play Cafe here in town for toddlers and kids, all the kids were snots who treated my son like he had a sickness or something. And all the moms stayed clear of me too. They stayed with their own little clique and weren’t welcoming whatsoever. So, he still has no friends and then this pandemic makes it even worse! He stays home and away from all outsiders. I worry I’m hindering his socializing skills.

Mom guilt is so real! Every day I feel guilty for something. If he’s in a poopy diaper and I don’t catch it fast enough I wonder how long he’s been sitting in his own poop. If he doesn’t stick to his meal and nap times perfectly because we are away from the house or something, I feel guilty. If we don’t get a chance to go outside at least once during the day, I feel guilty.

When it comes to my toddler, I have mom guilt with almost everything almost every day.

But here’s the thing, I do not feel guilty about having mom guilt! It is natural and normal, and I know plenty of moms who have mom guilt. So ladies do not ever let anyone make you feel less than for not doing something or for doing something, we worry about all that stuff enough for ourselves. We all experience mom guilt and it is okay. Surround yourself with a support system of other moms dealing with the same thing and we will all survive this thing called “mom life.”