Looks Can Be Deceiving

Three people in one house hold: one morbidly obese according to the scale, one as fit as can be according to the scale and one maybe a tad bit skinny according to the scale. Now which one would you think you’d worry about being unhealthy?! Hold up, not so fast….first let me start by explaining why this topic has come up.

In October, my cousin lost her husband, a man not too much older than me, he was overweight and didn’t workout regularly nor did he have a healthy diet, but he died unexpectedly nonetheless. During the time I cried every time I thought about it, but not for the reasons one would think. I’d cry every time I thought about his daughter being only eight-years-old losing her father. Never having her father for father/daughter dances, for her first prom, to walk her down the aisle, or to see his first grand baby, for any of it. And I thought of my cousin, my age mate, only a few weeks younger than me becoming a widow. Losing her soulmate, her best friend, her life partner, her husband at such a young age. She won’t be able to grow old with him or enjoy the golden years or experience grand babies with him or their daughter’s graduation or wedding or any of life’s biggest milestones.

So, I got sad, but then I looked in the mirror.

And when I looked in the mirror and saw what stared back at me for the first time, and I mean really saw what I’ve become…now mind you, I’ve just given birth to my second baby only a one and half months before I wrote this, so I have a small excuse, but nonetheless…I have let myself go! And all I thought about was all the what if’s!

What if that was me, what if I died and left my babies, what if I died and left my husband and my family and my friends! Would people be shocked like we all were with him!? Or would they say, “well she wasn’t in the best of health, so I’m not too surprised!” Which made me cry even more! And I know that is pretty selfish, but I couldn’t help it, he was just a few years older than me after all, so it could have easily been me!

So, I took the untimely death of my cousin’s husband as a wakeup call for myself and my family! We are young, but let’s face it age has nothing to do with death! Or health for that matter! Look at the host of The Biggest Loser, Bob Harper, who even at his fittest being a very well-known trainer suffered a heart attack and almost died, or Chadwick Boseman and Dustin Diamond, both men in their 40s who were both diagnosed with different types of cancer and died. Diamond diagnosed only three weeks prior to his death because I can only assume he didn’t get regular checkups.

Now back to my original statement, about looks being deceiving, in my household we have of course five of us, but two are just babies so their health isn’t in question. So, theirs mine, my husband’s and our teenager’s. So let me paint you a picture.

There’s me-the morbidly obese one per the numbers even though I’m more than 50% muscle but still obese. Then, my husband with 17% body fat, pretty muscular and works out daily, then our teenager 127lbs standing at 5’11, hardly eats and doesn’t do anything physical whatsoever.

So now that you have the big picture, which of those three would you think would be at a risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high risk of heart disease, and risk of this and that? Well, I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the one with a lot of extra weight on her bones!

I know crazy huh!!!!!

So, after the untimely death of my cousin’s husband, I voiced my concerns with my husband and we all went to the doctor and now I’m just shocked with the results of what they found!

All my numbers came back great. I have low blood pressure, low cholesterol, low this low that, great blood counts, white and red, great hemoglobin counts, no risk of diabetes, no thyroid issues, no risk of anything. Basically, I’m the healthiest fat person ever! They have now classified me as “solidly built” instead of “morbidly obese” so that’s a little better!

Now let’s talk about the two that you’d think is healthy!

Our teenager, at 127lbs standing at 5’11 is underweight (fully clothed mind you)! At 6% body fat!!!! The doctors are concerned because he doesn’t have enough fat around his internal organs (visceral fat) to provide protection for his organs, so that too is bad! His muscle mass is down too so he’s mostly bones! So, they want him to gain weight, but he can’t, so what do you do when a boy doesn’t eat?! I mean you can’t force him, right??? And when he wants to eat, he wants to eat garbage, like processed chips and snacks. And since we no longer have garbage in the house to eat, he chooses not to eat. So, what do you do?!

And finally, my husband, 17% body fat, solid muscle, abs, traps that show through his shirts, arms, shoulders, works out regularly, eats what I eat which is healthy, lean meats and lots of protein, vegetables and fruits, with red meat once a week. But his numbers are complete opposite of mine! Off the charts in the high range and scary! So scary the doctor set up another appointment the very next day to discuss options.

So how does any of this make sense?! It doesn’t! I’m the fat one, I’m the one who let themselves go, I’m the one who had put my health on the back burner for so long and now I’m the healthiest one in the family?! How!!!???? This is a perfect example of how looks can be deceiving!

Do not take your health for granted! Please go get a regular check up! Even if you feel fine! Even if you exercise regularly, even if you eat right and walk your 10,000 steps daily. Get your blood checked once a year, get your Pap smears done ladies! And your mammograms if you are at the age or at risk. And gentlemen I know y’all don’t want to, but get those colonoscopies done when the doctor says it’s time! It could be lifesaving!

Life is short, let’s try and make it as long as we can! Doctors are there for a reason, use them, can’t afford to, make a payment plan, stop buying Starbucks or cigarettes for a week, whatever it takes…get your annual checkups! Your family will thank you.

I was shocked by the outcome of our results, shocked and now instead of worrying about those what if’s being all about me, I stay awake at night worrying about my husband and all those what if’s coming true for me and not for him. I worry about me becoming a widow, I worry about me becoming a single mother to two young boys and I worry about me losing custody of our oldest, who is high functioning autistic, because I am just his step mom, not his biological mother, but I know what will happen if he went back to live with her. So, I’m now worrying about all the what ifs.

Don’t worry about the what if’s, go get your annual checkups, it could literally save your life.