But He’s Only Two!
It’s easy to look at my son and think he’s so much older and expect so much more out of him.
Like when you meet him and you start talking to him like he’s a five year old that is going to talk back to you and carry on a conversation. Then you ask, “is there something wrong with him? Why isn’t he talking?”
He’s only two!
And when you have to excuse yourself from the table or discussion because you have to go change his diaper and you get that look. You know the look, the look of disgust or straight disappointment. The look of judgment in the purest form! The look that states, “Is he seriously not potty trained yet, OMG what do you do all day!! How old is he again?! How can he not be potty trained yet!” Yeah that look! The look that I dread more than any other look cause honestly I thought he’d be potty trained by age two. Since I put so much pressure on myself to not be that one person in my family that had the only toddler not potty trained! But I didn’t realize boys were harder to potty train. So I just smile and remind them.
He’s only two.
And when my little guy runs off and doesn’t listen when I ask him to come here, or to not touch that, or not to throw his food, or don’t do that or this. Or when he has a tantrum or an outburst in the middle of a very important call or these days a very important zoom meeting. I have to remind myself…
He’s only two!
Or when he sits on the baby’s legs and doesn’t understand he could really hurt his brother and needs to get off the baby and daddy smacks his arm or grabs him just a little too hard to get him off the baby. He looks at you screaming with tears streaming down his little face and runs to your arms and you scream at the top of your lungs, “He’s two! He doesn’t understand what you the hell you mean!!!!! You don’t need to hit him!!!!” Which leads to a back and forth screaming match about how he could have hurt the baby and blah blah blah, but in the end daddy realized I was right and scoops him and apologizes because…
He is only two!
It’s easy to forget our little boy is only two. You see a 45 pound, 37.9 inch tall little human in size 5T clothes! That’s not a normal two year old. So it’s easy to forget. And it’s easy for everyone who meets him to not realize he’s only two.
What’s not easy is trying to keep my mouth shut when people say these comments.
The comments about him not talking, comments saying he should be a little more audible than he is and comments about something must be wrong since you can’t understand a thing he is saying. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my beautiful little boy. He is perfect. He is the purest form of perfect. He’s so perfect I’ve been told I’m overreacting when I asked for him to be tested by a speech pathologist, because again he’s only two.
The comments about how he could be so much further along if we’d stop letting him make up his own words and comments like, “for heavens sake stop speaking baby talk to him.” Even thou we don’t see it as speaking baby talk, we don’t say “goo goo gaa gaa” we say “wa” instead of water. Or “shaw” instead of orange because that’s the last sound of the word orange. We do sign language for “Please and thank you, and more and excuse me, and sorry.” Yes he may not be saying the words yet, but he knows what the signs mean and he knows when to use them, like when he does the signs for “more please” when he wants more shaw and then does the sign for “thank you” when I say, “okay, what do you say?” And I don’t care who you ask, that is communicating.
Or the comments about how to make him go potty on the big boy potty. Even thou you’ve already tried all these wonderful ideas everyone has to offer you. Hello-people!!!! Seriously no one wants a 45 pound toddler to poop on the big boy potty more than the mom who has to put his 37.9 inch body on that short three foot changing table! Trust me on that one!
It’s easy for people to judge and say comments like these and so many more, when they are not living it. When they are not in my shoes, in my home and living my life. It’s easy for them to look in judgement at my parenting and my toddler, but if we had such things as time machines or crystal balls to see into their lives when they had an infant, a toddler trying to learn to potty train and an autistic teenager who also needs constant guidance and care, I almost guarantee 99% of the people judging me, struggled too!
It’s easy to pass judgement on the mom with a child that is still in diapers, having a tantrum because he was told no or wasn’t allowed to run free and pass shame because seriously how can you let your five year old act this way!
Because he’s not five, he’s only two!
Even for me, his mommy, it’s sometimes hard to remember he’s only two. He may be the size of a five year old, but he’s two and he’s going through some tough times right now with not being able to express himself the way he wants to, and even more frustrating for everyone around him, not being able to express himself the way the rest of the world expects him to be able to. But I’ll continue reminding them and myself any time I may forget and get frustrated, that this precious little human is only two!
